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So I have a story to tell you.

As if you couldn't see already by the words and stuffs you're reading.

And... uh... it's a longish story.

It's... MY LIFE.

...

Are you scared now?

I promise, though, I'll try not to yell at you as I do it. It's just that I tend to get a little excited, 'yknow? Doesn't that happen to everyone? I thought that happened to everyone from time to time!

Ah... uh... okay.

I'm so sorry. You get the message, right?

Right?

Okay.

So. Uh.

Believe it or not, I'm married. Her name's Alice, and she's the most beautiful lady ever! Her hair is golden and pretty, and her eyes are so, so prettiful. I'm serious. They're blue... and green. Blue with a greenish splotch in one of them. And she knows how to dress. Her clothes always look so PERFECT.

...I yelled at you again, didn't I?

I'm sorry...

But you know how beautiful she is now, right? We even had a son together! We named him Peter! Which means stone in Greek! I bet you didn't know that!

We love him. ALWAYS LOVE YOUR KIDS FOR WHO THEY ARE, YOU SICK ABUSIVE BASTARDS! THAT MEANS YOU, SHINJI!

...I hope he's not reading this. He had better not be reading this, 'cause he's in prison for child abuse. SERVES HIM RIGHT.

But you'll agree with me when I tell you what he's like. He's a jerk who likes killing people, and he tried to groom his son into learning the best way to do it, and wouldn't let him play flute. And then his son found his mum and the two reported him and he's in prison now! I LOVE THAT KID!

...I'm offtopic now. That's bad.

But anyways, back to MY son! Peter knows how to look good, too, and he knows it. But the other kids at school don't like this and make fun of him. I saw it happening once, AND I FUCKING SAW RED

...Ahem. Sorry again.

BUT AT LEAST I DIDN'T ACT ON IT! YOU CAN'T PUT SOMEONE AWAY FOR THINKING SOMETHING!

Um... I'll stop yelling now.

I'm sorry I keep yelling. I broke my promise already. Just, uh, y'know, please don't put this down! I'll give you something good, honest! HONEST!

...

I'll start telling you the story, then.

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