Tragic City Thieves - the story...

THE STORY OF TRAGIC CITY THIEVES
A coming together......
Sexually frustrated siblings, Sensitive Jim and Curious Div Rider, were looking for an escape route out of the boring orthodoxy imposed upon them by their strict Christian parents. The two young boys discovered their holy grail in the sweet sounds of rock and roll. They started going to midweek gigs in the city, keeping their dirty little secret from their friends and family. In order to fund gigs, a certain mother’s purse would be raided of notes and coins alike… as well as lipsticks. Before long the pair decided to leave, and so packed their bags full of clothes, food, money, make-up and some of mums more saucy private garments. They had seen and heard enough about ‘normal life’ and wanted something more. With that motivation and their love of Rock they left the family home and headed for the city to find fame, fortune or hepatitis. They managed to find a small dank room in the bowels of the sleazy city centre. The search for jobs soon began; they luckily both got interviews at a music instrument store. The interviews went surprisingly well, the part time manager Colin Monk took a liking to the pair for their tastes in music, people, and felt pity for their naivety of the world. Colin was a quiet, timid fellow, stuck in a repetitive empty life with a love for Scalextric, Taggart and third-rate 80’s cop movies. But inside him a transformation was threatening to engulf him, he was bored with his mediocre existence and wanted more, a lot more. Curious Div took to the drums with ease; Sensitive Jim thought bass would be the better course for him to take. Colin had been playing the guitar for years, writing mainly 70’s love songs, he had a large collection that he kept inside a plastic bag under his bed. The Rider brothers were not at all interested in playing this genre, and embarrassed by their jibes, Colin left early and left the keys for them to lock up. Once home, Colin’s physical and mental condition completely broke down. He lapsed into a stress-induced coma for a few days and then emerged as the person he always wanted to be, his dream alter ego, ‘Long-legs’. A week after he left the shop he returned not as Colin, but as C.J ‘Longlegs’ Monk. The Rider brothers were shocked as they took in the change in him. They were more shocked when he began barking out orders for them to prepare to jam. His new breed of songs, guitar playing and singing style struck a major chord with the boys. More days passed with the three practicing new songs in the shop, as it still wasn’t very busy. Their only real customer was an odd scientist, Professor Stuart Firefly. He had been the victim of his own eagerness when one of his extraordinary experiments backfired, and his brain was overcome by an accidental direct input of sounds, notes and frequencies. He picked up the guitar after this disastrous experiment and hasn’t put it down since. It is the only thing that helps calm the internal audio concert in his mind. The same day the Rider bros and Longlegs started jamming was the same day Firefly burst into the store. He had burst all his strings on his only guitar through extensive rocking and desperately needed new ones. He didn’t have the patience to wait and just plugged an axe into an amp right next to Longlegs. Puzzled and interested they continued their jam and Firefly joined in. So now the group was complete, they jammed away the remainder of the day, resplendent in their creations of rock glory. Afterwards as they were leaving the store, a muffled moan emanated from the managers office. They investigated and found the manager, Tony Wabon, dead in his office. Yet another victim of the deadly, yet vastly appealing, auto-erotic asphyxiation. Before they contacted the authorities, the thieves loaded up Longlegs van with all sorts of musical gear they would need for their pursuit of rock glory, fixing the stock reports so that nothing would look a miss. After the police had came and the usual questions had been asked, the group decided to go and consummate their new relations at one of Tragic City’s more seedy establishments, the Valdarak social club....
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