On the Journey to Find the Golden Underwear

My friend told me there was a Golden Underwear, but I didn't
believe it. It was that day of when you sit on a bench and nothing to do. That was when I saw it climb up a tree. "There! It's there! Look." I screamed to my friend Talking Pickle. "Dude, I was just kidding," Pickle looked annoyed. "Um...okay," I said. You wouldn't know how curious I was.

That night, I went to bed and noticed a note on my pillow. It said, "If
you want to see me, you must climb a tree. If you want to be really rich, bring some spinach. If you want to know who I am, eat a piece of ham. From the Golden..." The words started to fade.

So, I started to climb the tree where I saw the golden thing, eating
the ham. I held spinach in my hand. I kept climbing and climbing until I noticed something awkward. The tree did not rise this high! Climbing down, I noticed that the bottom was a foot down from where I climbed, although I had climbed hundreds of feet. It was very weird, but then I noticed something even weirder. There were golden toilets all around me!

Everything was all shiny, gold, and still until I noticed something moving. I thought it was the Golden Underwear, so I started to walk towards it. Then, it popped out of nowhere. It was a long hot dog with a witch's hat, dress, and broom.

"Hi! My name is Halloweenie, and I eat golden toilets." It smiled very strange, including that it had no teeth. Feeling hungry, I ate the hot dog as it screamed.

Boy, did it taste good! It was the best screaming, salty thing with a witch's hat, broom, and clothes ever! I continued to walk through the wilderness of witch weenies and stuff. Then, I saw a dragon that smelled like ham. He said, "In order to meet Sam, you must show me a piece of ham."

Ham. That is why the note said to bring some ham. I took some out of my shoe and behind my ears, then I showed it to the dragon.

He sniffed it very carefully. "Very well," he roared. "You may pass." The dragon made a little flame with his nose and roasted the ham. "Enjoy." The dragon smiled and flew away. Feeling hungry again, I ate the ham. I did not want to just eat all fatty ham, so I grabbed a piece of spinach and started to chew it.

That is when things got really weird. I saw that some golden blur ran across the field of toilet gold. The ground started to shake, and the toilets carved by themselves into statues that looked like me when I was a baby. Then, I turned around.

There I saw the golden blur, a little shiny cow. Why was it a cow? I wondered. It smiled, then spoke. "So. You have come. My daughter." "Who in the world are you?" I was bewildered. "Your father. Sam." "Then who is the Golden Underwear?" Now things were getting too crazy. "You, my daughter. You are the Golden Underwear." "No! It can't be! You are not my father, and I am not the Golden Underwear!" I was horrified.

"Yes. It is true. I adopted you and I, as the Golden Little Cow Thing, I placed an underwear on your head that turned to gold as soon as it lay upon your noggin." "What?!" I didn't remember anything. The Golden Little Cow thing continued. "From that day forth, I named you the Golden Underwear. I forced you to write that letter poem, so you would find this kingdom someday. You will stay here for the rest of eternity." "No, I won't!" I started to run. "Not just yet, The Little Cow Thing grinned. "Guards. Strap her to the toilet." It was a golden toilet. "You will sit there forever. These Halloweenies make you live forever.

"You will never have to get up to go to the bathroom because you will be sitting on a golden toilet. We have water with us. Mwahahaha!" At that same instance, millions of Halloweenies grabbed me, and strapped me into the toilet chair. I screamed. "We will serve you forever," the Halloweenies said. "Forever and ever and ever."